What a way to start writing again than talking about an important surgery I had FIVE years ago at the age of 31 and the journey Ive been on since that point. Now before I get into some minor details about what has transpired over the past few years I will warn you, If you are a man, have a quesy stomach or just not a fan of a female writing about her reproductive organs then I would stop reading right now and enjoy the rest of your day. But if you are curious then buckle up as I take you on a journey.
From the start of my “becoming a women” journey it was tough. I will always remember the day I was first blessed with the awesome present of becoming a women ( and yes that sentence is meant to be read in a sarcastic tone.) It was two days before my 13 birthday. I was in class and felt a weird sensation, it was the first time I raised my voice to the teacher after I said I needed togo the bathroom and since we were taking a test my teacher was hesitant to allow me. I stated again I needed to go to leave the class but instead said I think I need to go to the nurse. On the way to the nurse I thought I was dying I walked in saw my sister started to cry stated I was dying. Thankfully my sister reminded me of how old I was and that this was expected. I remember stayigng at school because I had musical practice. I tied a long sleeve shirt around my waist and went on with my life.
As I continued to get older it felt like every month things didn’t get easier but I was young and naive and things seemed to settle after the first 2ish years it became a pretty on schedule event 10am every 28days lasting 5-7, sometimes 9days. Still extremely painful, but I didn’t think anything of that part.
All of that changed though, after 2018 when I had my second Son Simeon. It was a tough pregnancy that resulted in getting my tube (yes singular since I only have one ovary) tied and burned and made to the point of having no more biological children. After the dreaded postpartum period of post birth (Moms you know what I mean.) Things were still fairly rough. Prior to giving birth to Simeon, things were okay with my cycle, post Simeon who knows when it would show up28 days, 35 days, and it would be two-three weeks long with a week off. Talk about miserable! Not only the bleeding but the pain associated with it.
I went to my OB saying I can’t stop bleeding. I would go to the hospital because I was sure I was losing too much blood. I was given medication to stop the bleeding and I would go about my day until the next cycle when it would happen again. The OB said I had two options: Get my uterus Burned and hope it helped or get a hysterectomy since I was done having children. When it comes to surgeries I have had my fair share of those. More hospital visits then I have ever envisioned, but a hospital visit/ doctor appointment ultimately resulting in scheduling surgery for my uterus to be removed was never on my bingo card of life.
Getting my tube tied is irreversible but there was something about getting hysterectomy which was the nail in the coffin when it comes to having anymore children. It was scary to think about, and a decision I did not take lightly. I would either go through a surgery being burned and pray it works, or just get the entire organ taken out and know it will work. By the title of the post pretty obvious what I chose.
*view from the room I stayed in which happened to be the same room I was in after I gave birth to all three kids*
The day of surgery went pretty smoothly, June 8th 2020. Surgery was originally scheduled for March 2020 but due to covid it was moved. For all the surgeries I’ve had its always super scary, thankfully I was given some meds which helped calm me down a bit. I did have to stay overnight in the maternity ward which was probably the hardest part emotionally and mentally. Knowing I was staying in the unit for the very last time ever was really rough. I will always remember the next day when I was discharged, because of covid Kyle wasn’t allowed in, so I walked out of the hospital to Kyle was surprised since he thought I would be in a wheelchair. Recovery wasn’t too terrible, it took me about two weeks to feel majority better physically. Mentally well that will be another story.
Before I get into the mental aspect of the hysterectomy let me relish in how proud I am of myself. Exactly two months later I competed in my first Crossfit competition. Did I get in last place? Yes! Did I care? NO! Am I proud of myself? Heck Yes! I pushed my body to my limit and being post surgery I was so proud of myself and continue to be proud of myself.
Okay now back to mentally. Did you know when you have a hysterectomy you can still go through the hormone changes you go through having a baby? I didn’t know that so that was a huge shock. I was not ready for that at all. For some reason I thought having a hysterectomy would heal my body and my mind. Something else I never knew, each month mentally I “go through a cycle.” I still go through the ups and downs of PMS, I have phantom cramps, all around the same time each month. Cracks me up since my “cycle” is more regular now then it was prior to surgery. Oh but post surgery a super fun aspect, heat flashes! Talk about a personal sauna! Not only do I use my outside ice bath for mental/physical health, I use it when my shower isn’t cold enough to cool my body down. whoops! My hot flashes are similar to what my mom used to explain to me. Starts in the pit of my elbow then spreads all over my body. It feels like I’m standing in front of the fan in a suit of armor. Like I know the fan is on and blowing but I can’t feel the air ( that’s when I jump in the shower or the ice bath.) Since I still have an ovary I do not need any medication (estrogen) and will hit menopause at a more normal time. So I am so beyond thankful for that. I get cysts on my lone ovary every once and a while, but since I had them nearly every month (prior to my other ovary being removed) I deal with it because I will not give up that ovary!
Im going to be honest when it come to having a hysterectomy “young” I am so beyond thankful that the physical pain is gone and there are no more worries about losing too much blood. But, I feel like mentally has taken so much longer since there’s so many more layers. Its been 5 years and I feel as though each year I am getting better mentally. I have my struggles and I am still figuring out what the correct supplemental medicine regime is. I don’t need one I just want one. Anything I can do to help myself physically and mentally I want to do. My lovely husband has even done research to see what supplements help with hot flashes and helps refill my pill box on Sundays.
While going through to figure out what pictures I was going to post for this blog I was going to post one of my incisions, but I thought I would save everyones eyes from that. So instead I was reminded how we got ducks during my first post week!
Heres to the almost 5year anniversary of my biggest surgery! Hopefully this year I can not only continue to heal mentally, but also lose the lovely weight I wasn’t warned about it either. Nonetheless as frustrating as things are at times, I don’t regret the surgery and there are more positives then negatives!
