As most of you know I lost two babies to miscarriage. Never got a chance to meet them, never got a chance to know them. After losing my first I felt so alone. Like no one knew what I was going through, no one has ever experienced miscarriage. It wasn’t until after my second that I started speaking out. That was when a flood of messages came into my inbox with love and support sharing their stories of miscarriage. Last week I decided to write a post for those that may have those same alone feelings, showing that they are not alone. I sent out a SOS for others who wanted to participate and other moms in my blogger community volunteered since they too have written about losing their little ones.
I will have a little bit from each of their blog post regarding their specific story with a link to the full story if you feel inclined to read the rest of these amazing women’s stories. I also want to thank each and every one of them for sharing a little bit of their heart to hopefully help others.
My Miscarriage Story by Mama Needs Cake
Early 2012 I suffered my first miscarriage. At the time my daughter was 14 months old and I was still breastfeeding. I found out I was expecting my second child at the end of 2011. Shortly after the new year I fell incredibly sick and thought I had the flu. My husband rushed me to the hospital and we were given the news that I was severely dehydrated and I was going through what is called “A Threatened Miscarriage.”
While we were there we had an unscheduled sonogram. We had never heard our baby’s heartbeat before and we didn’t expect to hear it that night because I wasn’t very far along. But what we heard felt like a miracle, a sign from God, that everything was going to be okay. Arriving back home, although I was encouraged by the heartbeat, I was feeling heavy with the news that I was threatening miscarriage.
I did all that I could to save my baby. I was still incredibly sick and I was forced to stop breastfeeding my daughter for the well being of my unborn child and for myself. I did all that I could to prevent a miscarriage from happening but I failed. I lost the baby the day after I heard my baby’s heartbeat in the Emergency Room. At that point in my life it was the hardest thing that I ever had to go through. Not only was that my first miscarriage, and although I didn’t know it yet, in hindsight it was also my first experience with Hyperemesis Gravidarum. A condition in which 1 in every 4 pregnancies result in loss.
The morning that I found out that I lost my baby I noticed something wrong. I had my husband take me to my OB that I had trusted for many years. The doctor did a sonogram and confirmed that I had miscarried….. To read the Rest of this amazing post and read this amazing moms heartfelt journey visit https://www.themamaneedscake.com/lost-love-surviving-3-miscarriages/
Baby #3 by Honest Mom Life
We actually did have to go through a miscarriage in between my first and second. I shared our BIG news on Facebook and was over the moon! Again, I was 6 weeks when I posted our ultrasound picture and found out 2 weeks later there was no longer a heartbeat! My OB thought I would naturally pass it, so I was given 3 pills and to wait it out. Absolutely grueling experience. When that didn’t work, I was told I needed to have a D&C (Dilation and Curettage) – scraping out the uterine lining. My husband came with me and I was put under. I would never wish this on anybody. It was incredibly heart wrenching, draining, and sad! My husband and I took time to grieve and waited 3 months before we could try again. 4 months later we did get pregnant with our rainbow baby, another healthy baby boy! I felt like our family was complete! My heart was full! My husband on the other hand felt differently. He has always said 3 or more kids. So here we are now, my baby is 18 months old and with baby #3 on the way, God willing, they will be 2 years apart! I have to admit, when I saw the positive lines on the pregnancy test, I was elated!! Guess I really did have room in my heart for one more…To read more and to navigate through one of my new favorite blogs go to http://honestmomlife.com/baby-3/
Promises for the Hungry heart Week 17 (update) By My Joy In chaos
I remember seeing the blood just two days after seeing the two lines. I remember getting into the shower and just sobbing until the tears couldn’t come anymore. Wanting to pray and form words to ask God, “why?” To understand the purpose of the pain and anguish of loss.
I remember just a few months later going to an eight week appointment. The nurse practitioner put the ultrasound wand on my abdomen and I could tell on her face that something wasn’t right. She said she was having trouble picking up the heartbeat. I had seen healthy heartbeats before. I had seen them flickering on these machines before. There was no flickering. There was no movement at all.
I know she told me where to go to get a better ultrasound and I know I found my way there. I know I called Micah and tried to explain what was happening. I know I sat in that dark room alone while I waited for them to tell me what I already knew. Another baby was gone.
Once again I found myself without words. Without the ability to cry out to God or to ask for help when I was hurting so deeply, when Micah was hurting along side me. We cried together because there were no words to make either of us feel okay.
But the Spirit moved for us. It moved for me. The Spirit of God interceded and prayed the words I couldn’t. Sooner than I could have ever expected I started feeling a sense of peace. In just a matter of days I was already sharing with other people about what I was experiencing. I was still living it, losing another baby, but I was talking. I was sharing and connecting. And that is what I needed…to read more and check out her amazing devotionals go to https://www.myjoyinchaos.com/home/2016/7/promises-for-the-hungry-heart-week-17-update
Memorial Speech for Tirzah by Delight of my life
When Ryan and I first found out by ultrasound that we were expecting a baby girl, I cried tears of joy right then and there. I was so excited to have a girl and I hoped that she’d have red hair like me!
We knew right away that we’d name her Tirzah Catherine. Tirzah is a Hebrew word meaning “She is my delight”, and is found in the Scripture book The Song of Solomon, which is a love poem between a man and his bride. We chose our wedding scripture from this book, and we knew that our Tirzah was going to be a beautiful little picture of the special love that Ryan and I have in our marriage.
The Lord laid on my heart a Bible verse to be Tirzah’s “life verse”, which signified our prayers and desires for her: Song 2:10- “My Beloved speaks and says to me: “Arise my love, my beautiful one, and come away…”
Our prayer for her through this verse was that she would have a beautiful and intimate relationship with the Lord. We didn’t realize the meaning the words would later take on, as the Lord truly did call her away.
Ryan and I have joy in knowing that our main prayer for Tirzah, which we prayed over and over during the pregnancy, has been answered- our prayer for her salvation. We have the most confident assurance that she is with the Lord Jesus in Heaven. We believe that the Lord delighted in her so much that He wanted her to be with Him right away. And I believe with all my heart that if we knew what she knows now, and we could catch a glimpse of what she’s experiencing with God, we would have only pure joy and celebration for her. The Lord brought this to my mind in the first hours after learning of her passing, and it has sustained me through the dark valleys of grief.
In a few moments we’ll be singing a praise song called “I stand in awe.” I requested this because through Tirzah’s passing, I have stood in awe at the work of Christ in new way. I accepted the Lord as my Savior when I was 5 years old, and in some ways I think it’s easy for me to take my own salvation for granted. However, when I realized that the death of Jesus on the cross as our substitute and payment for sin, made it possible for Tirzah to be with God as well I was overcome with thankfulness and awe in a new way….To read more of this incredible, inspiring, brave mom with a blog of letters to her beautiful daughter gone to soon go to https://delightofmylife.com/2014/09/23/memorial-speech-for-tirzah/
I hope reading this post has helped some, and brought a sense of peace knowing you are not alone. These women are so brave for sharing their stories and I want to thank each and everyone for sharing part of their life, and part of their heart with everyone who reads. I would also like to thank Vanessa at https://vanessadoesdesign.wordpress.com/ who so willingly came up with the feature picture (as well at my blog graphics) Check out her work, she is amazing! Again I hope this post has helped someone and don’t forget to light your candles tonight for all those beautiful ones gone to soon.