December 17, 2018
The day has finally come when Kyle goes to Ghana. I cant begin to explain the emotions I have been/are feeling. Its been a crazy day! Yesterday I tried to soak up as much time and cuddles with my husband as I could. I went to bed early (because I’m an old lady) but couldn’t sleep at all. Kyle tried to stay up so that he could sleep on the plane. Around 5 I asked if he could come to bed and I got a two solid hours of sleep knowing he was next to me. Not sure what that means for the nights to come.
All morning I was trying my best to hold in my emotions. Its hard. I was trying to be a strong tower for my kids so that they wouldn’t get upset. But, as kyle drove off I broke down, and tried consoling the big kids as they were upset as well. I heard from Kyle off and on during his trip at various rest stations and when they finally got to their destination.
While he was on the road me and the kids had a very interesting day here. I decided it was going to be a movie day. Because quite honestly I was emotionally, and mentally exhausted. We watched a few movies and I got the strength to start to clean. I walked into the boys room and played my “favorite” game. Why does it smell like poop in here. I just changed out the trashcan so it wasn’t that, both boys sheets were fresh so not those, and because of Sauls antics last week I was nervous what I was going to find. But after searching high and low I couldn’t find what made the stench. After lunch, the kids had quiet time and I got a chance to sit and think. Which is never good. Quite honestly my nerves are shot and Ive been randomly getting sick the past two days (so much fun) but simeon decided to cuddle up on me and fell asleep. It was pure bliss and just what I needed.
After the big kids had quiet time we played their favorite game. Mountain. Its where I do a kinda yoga pose and the kids climb under me and or over my back like a mountain. they love it and sometimes it helps my back to feel good too. The kids also realized I still got it when it comes to playing the recorder. Yea I played a pretty awesome version of hot cross buns. Yup, Ill be here till Wednesday if anyone wants to book me (jk jk) The day didn’t go as slow as I thought it would. There were some funny moments. Saul was wearing a hat over his eyes and running around the house into multiple things. He thought it was Hilarious. Hannah decided we all needed to wear sticker earrings and Saul wouldn’t take his off (he may even still be wearing them in bed.)
I downloaded many apps to track kyles plan and knew their plane was supposed to take off at 540 but for some reason it was delayed. Yay anxiety kicking in for why is it delayed. I got an alert on my phone at 618pm that their flight took off and I was over come with such emotion. I literally fell to the ground praying and crying that everything would be okay. I truly thought this time would be so much easier with Kyle going to Ghana since I wasn’t 2 weeks post partum with a newborn and a toddler but I guess no matter what its always hard. Kyle is the love of my life he’s my best friend so him not being next to me or even in the same country is so incredibly hard.
I’m praying that they have a safe flight and that I hear from him as soon as he lands. I have my phone apps set for alerts for as soon as they land. I also pray my anxiety lets me get a little sleep tonight since I’m pretty exhausted.