…and why I have a love hate relationship with it.
Each year in May there is a special day that comes around, where mothers are given beauty handmade crafts from their children, flowers, and hopefully a nap. Most of the time the day is filled with giggles and laughs. For a few moms, including myself, it may be filled with something else. Tears.
Mothers Day is always an extremely hard day for me. My husband makes sure I get some alone time during the day to reflect. You see the child whom first made me a mom died before I was given a chance to meet them. Sage Robinson was born into heaven on July 26,2012. I never was given a chance to meet that precious baby but from the first heartbeat that baby made me a mommy. Today, as I reflect on being a mother to my earthly babies, I also think about my Heavenly ones. I wonder who Sage, and Presley would have been. What mischeif they would have gotten into. What type of macroni necklace they would have made for me today. So many questions that unfortunatly will never be answered.
I feel as though I am a person who will always try (try being the keyword here since sometimes I fail) to find the positives in most situations. If I truly think about it if Sages pregnancy would have gone to term then Hannah wouldnt be here today. If Presleys Pregnancy would have also gone to term Saul wouldnt be here either. At times its hard to wrap my head around those thoughts. I will never understand why two of my children have passed away before I have. But I have three children down here that need me and that I love with my whole heart.
Mothers Day will always bring up a range of emotions each year. Some years may be better then others, and some years may be worse. But for those mothers out there that too have lost children I see you, Im thinking of you. Those women who long to have children, I see you and Im thinking of you. The women whom have fostered, or adopted children, I see you and Im thinking of you. Those children whom have lost their mothers, I see you and Im thinking of you. For those fathers that are filling in those mothers shoes, I see you, and Im thinking of you. No matter what your plans are today, No matter where you are I hope each person reading this knows I am thinking of you and I hope you are able to have an amazing day.